Losing the Weight-the mental challenge

Since my eight pound bundle of joy left my womb I feel like my body was not my own. I constantly catch myself looking at my mid section and thinking "just go away." I know I know the stretch marks were worth having my son but to me that doesn't make me want to jump in a bikini again. I have tried bootcamps, diets, Jillian Michaels, Stroller Strong Moms (GREAT WORKOUT) but it all comes down to motivation to change my eating.

You see, I am an emotional eater. My logic being totally irrational if I were to speak it out loud for eating or buying snacks. For example...driving down the road I see the glorious Chic-fil-a sign and think "I deserve a small fry" or "Lemonade is better than pop right?" Sometimes I cannot stop myself from being seduced by the Starbucks sign, those baristas know my weakness.

All that said, I have got to STOP. I have to find joy in what I eat but also know that I need to treat my body not as my own but to glorify God. So many illness and disease come from poor nutrition and its a cycle, it happens over time.  One small fry at a time.

Working out has been a great stress relief since Logan has been "away" and side note... I do have the best helpers. I mean who wouldn't want to have a dog's breath in their face while doing crunches?

Anyways I guess the point of sharing this is to remind myself that it is a mental challenge, the eating, and the working out. My plan of attack is to start discovering more what food provides for your body.  What will help give me energy or help me burn fat. I don't want to go paleo or try crazy diets but I do want to eat healthier and enjoy it. Also, reminding myself that although it is HOT out it is worth the walk or run outside. 

I am excited to see the change although you will most likely not see any before and after pictures. I will keep those to myself :) If you read this and have any healthy food recipes or sites feel free to send them my way. 

Don't buy it

This morning I went to a "market" which was more like a big yard sale but heck, I love yard sales so it was perfect. I found the book Tuesdays with Morrie by: Mitch Albom and even though I just started it (this is where people these days would say "literally," why is that a trend now?) I found a gem on page 35-36 "'Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own. Most people can't do it..." This was most certainly needed today or just lately I suppose.

I browsed through my Facebook newsfeed this morning to find pictures of drunken Friday nights and beach vacations a long with the random status about working out, eating or just general happenings. I began to wonder, why was my Friday so lame? Why couldn't I be invited to ladies night? Why couldn't I afford a beach vacation? What was wrong with me? Why wasn't I worthy? ....see how that escalated so quickly? Yes, this happens often and I hate it. I know it is happening but still. Hate it.

So where do I go from here? Well first stop asking questions because I know the purpose of my life, I know what I live for and whom I live for. I need to take more action. I need to start living a life that shows Christ-like love. Not buy a culture I know doesn't work. I want to make a few changes, nothing drastic, but just little things that will bring more joy out of life.

I need to also open myself up more, I have a hard time with that here. A few of my first "friends" here treated me in a way that was not nice. I never felt the need to get on a soapbox and shout it to the world, all the reasons why, so I internalized it and closed myself off to a lot of people. I need to stop and just let myself be vulnerable again, in a friendship setting that is. I need to laugh again. Like those deep belly laughs you know are only shared with the ones you truly love.

So anyways, those are my thoughts and if you are reading this thank you for getting all the way through it and "listening" in one way or another.

Much Love,
Laura
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Just Stuck

These days I find myself stuck. Stuck in life.

I feel like I am limbo of a a young 20's let's adventure and travel the world and I'm a mom whose Friday nights consist of drinking wine and pinteresting.

 SO after a recent trip to California and just getting away- I made a list, of goals for myself.

1. Never stop adventuring
2. Build a home, where your children feel welcome and friends are family
3. Be yourself-no matter how much you would love to "fit in"
4. Read often
5. Take the time to LISTEN- its not all about you
6. Challenge yourself, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually


Short and sweet tonight :) Just had to get those thoughts out there!

Time goes by so fast...

 It's been over a year since I was gifted a scrapbook kit for Ben's baby album (great gift by the way, thanks Aunt Pam!). So I decided try it out, since my now one year old can semi-entertain himself. I started with a page for my pregnancy. I think it's great to look back and see life as it used to be then and I hope Ben will too someday. Here's a pic (ignore the mess and my awkward leg)...

So I don't know if you know this about me but I am a hoarder, well not TLC worthy but I hoard anything that could possibly have meaning. The card is one I sent Logan while he was deployed as are the pictures. I love that everyone has a story, and I love hearing those stories. I realized as I am scrapbooking that I have a large part in making Ben's story, I have the responsibility of raising him. Maybe one day I will be the reason he loves chocolate chip pancakes or watching a thunderstorm come in...how crazy is that?! 

Something I heard over and over again when I first had Ben was "Time goes by so fast, enjoy it!" I used to think, "How do I enjoy no sleep and spit up in my hair?" But now I see what they mean. As I watch Ben daily and am reminded what a little person he is becoming I want time to slow down, I want to enjoy every bit of it I have left while he's little. It is SO so easy to get caught up in the sleep deprivation or the temper tantrums but I too have become that person who says "Time goes by so fast.." 

Let's be real

Have you ever scrolled down Pinterest and pinned "activities" for your children? Things like "sensory bag" or "creating busy books" even "crafts for your toddler". I have to admit I tried one of these once and I still laugh at the thought. It was a "sensory bag" which I carefully selected things around the house to put in it, Ben tossed it to the side like yesterday's leftovers and moved on to terrorizing the dog. Not giving one glance back...

Not to say these are BAD, as an educator I think they do have some place in the classroom to explore textures and learn colors, etc. but I think parents today get way to caught up in planning activities, centering life around their child. Why not bring the child into your world, teaching them the crazy awesome things around them that are natural. 

Here is a list of things every day things I want to do with Ben...but not on a time schedule just if they arise. 

Puddle jumping

Searching for four leaf clovers

Stirring a batch of brownies (and maybe licking the bowl afterwards)
Playing hide and seek
Picking up rocks in the driveway-finding perfectly round ones
Singing in the car
Dancing in the rain- or in general
Snuggling in bed (maybe even watching cartoons)
Reading a book
Picnicking
Watering the flowers
Finding "rolly pollies" under rocks
Sitting on the front porch, watching thunderstorms come in
Banging pots and pans in the kitchen
Waking daddy up, by jumping on the bed
Running through a sprinkler
Tickles! then giggles :)
Sharing homemade lemonade on a hot day

These are just a few, some I know won't come for years but I still look forward to them. I guess this is a reminder to keep it simple. Kids don't consistently need entertainment, they will EXPECT it if you always do give it to them. Just invite them to be a part of what you do whether it be cooking, cleaning, shopping, opening the door etc. Enjoy them and make memories being real and genuine not "I saw this on Pinterest" or "let me put a picture on Facebook" everyday. That doesn't make you super mom...kissing booboos and being there does.

To Caitlynn

Last thanksgiving a wonderful friend of mine took our pictures and she did such a lovely job (as always). I cannot express enough how important it is to feel comfortable with your photographer. Logan and I cannot keep a straight face with the more "lovey-dovey" poses and Caitlynn just rolls with it, I love her for that...I mean this is totally natural, right?

A little background on Caitlynn, we were collage roommates for two-ish years (?) Although I always joked I never saw her! She was always busy, for real, you haven't met busy until you meet Caitlynn. I'm still not convinced she slept for half her time at college. She is also a teacher and a pretty fantastic one at that. She is one of the hardest workers I know! Okay, back to the pictures...so we were her "firsts" for a lot of things, engagement, weddings, and now family with a baby and dog they consider a baby. She always has a challenge but performs beautifully and at short notice!! Here is one from our engagement...

Then I called Caitlynn and asked if she would do our wedding pictures, but I also have to add she was a bridesmaid. At one point she wanted to hop on a car to take a cool shot, in her bridesmaids dress...that's just how incredibly passionate she is about what she does! I think she's wonder woman for being in a wedding AND taking pictures with the help of her husband (shout out to Nick) of course. So here's a shot from the wedding... (p.s. that's her mom and dad in the background on the left, they are pretty fantastic too).

Fun fact, I was in Caitlynn's wedding and we danced down the isle! Now to the family ones...they were simply beautiful too! Pictures of my family make me swoon but beautiful pictures of my family make my heart melt into a great big puddle. 

Caitlynn you capture people's love in such a way that will be treasured. The moments you create my great-great grandchildren will see and smile, for that I thank you. You are truly a blessing as a friend and photographer. Thanks for making memories!

P.S. Every time I see Friends on T.V. I stop and smile and think of you eating green beans and cheese on our college couch. Those were the days! 

What did you learn in class today?

So I wasn't sure what to write about. Seems like my life is the same, "Hi, my names Laura I am a mom and wife." Well before I was a mom I had this little thing called a career, no biggie...just that thing adults do to make money. I almost forget what those days are like and wonder how I will do it all when I go back...

Well while I am a stay at home mom I am getting my masters in early childhood education. That's right people, future preschool teacher here. In all realness though I have learned more about my own child going through this program, I feel like I should've started this the day I found out I was pregnant.

Tonight we had to watch a two minute video and write a discussion...here's the video:

Before you watch know, I watched this and my thoughts were "well that's weird, makes sense I guess" ...now how did I turn that into 3-5 paragraphs, I still don't know...but here watch this, it's called the Still Face Experiment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0


if you are really interested you can watch this too:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bG89Qxw30BM


I almost got more out of this one only because it showed older children at the end...

Communication is something Ben has learned from birth, which is scary to me because I feel like that is when I communicated the worst with others (I was so tired). Recently though I realize how important it is to teach him to communicate in the right ways with others. One of the things I try NOT to do is be on my cell phone while his attention is on me. After watching these videos I am reminded of that mom in the waiting room on her cell phone and her kid screaming "MOM MOM MOM" trying anything to get her attention. Children need attentive adults teaching them to communicate and not just in words in actions too. I forget how Ben can communicate even though his go-to word is "da" ...he points, smiles, screeches, hugs and etc all not words but all the same they have meaning.

It is so crazy how fast Ben is learning and I want every moment to count. I love watching him grow and learn and think gosh how blessed I am to see those little and big moments every day.

Well there you have it, that's what I learned in class today/tonight...