Decorating

Oh hello blog, it's nice to see you again. So let me set the current scene for you...husband=gone, kids=sick (so much puke) Me= 2 cups of coffee down. So naturally I want to Pinterest and be lazy all day long. Now, usually I have no time for that but since this kind of sick requires babies to rest I actually have a mini-break. Don't worry it was after a lot of yuck, what's better than one baby with the stomach bug...two! 

Okay, so we moved into our new house in September and of course I had already mapped out my design plan months before, thanks to Pinterest. If you know me, you know how I love to decorate. LOVE LOVE LOVE it...sorry that was the coffee speaking...but really there is nothing I love more than turning a house or room around to make it into a cozy dwelling. So I wanted to write some things I have learned along the way after moving several times. 

First, paint...it can go a long way. I often take forever deciding but it is worth it in the end. 

Second when deciding make sure you love what you hang, paint, furnish and etc. Too many times I have picked up something that "will do" but I am telling you wait, search, then choose. If it is a house you are residing in for awhile you want to make sure it is right. 

Third. Go with your gut. Don't go off of  anyone else's opinion, yes sometimes even your husband, because in the end if it is what you love a reflection of how you want your home to look than it will be great.  

*cue the story about the green lamp* I was beyond proud of bringing home from a local thrift shop and Logan took one look and pulled out the "that's interesting" comment. I still love it though, so much better than the boring white one. 

This home is tiny compared to our last but I wanted it to feel like a cozy home. I hate generic but then again I love trends like the farmhouse look. We have a ton of work still but I love planning it out. Next project is painting stars in B's room and painting a BLUE wall in the hall. Oh and I may throw some subway tile up in the kitchen. The best part about decorating the house we are currently in is that I know we won't be here for forever but because it was "flip" we have the bones, just need to personalize it! 

The makings of the girls room. The pictures do not do the color justice, so much better in person!

Working on some more decorations, still need to find name signs I love...

This was the inspiration from a concert Ellie Holcomb put on in Columbus,GA she had a local artist paint to her music. I went right before I found out we were having two girls and I had a gut feeling I needed this for a nursery in hopes I would have at least one girl.

My "stripey wall" as I call it. Also, Hobby Lobby has some awesome decorating pieces these days, I was impressed.

Hall way color, going with the right one, bright! 

THE green lamp :) and of course baby Jesus, Merry Christmas!

Leaving the Army

We left the army about two months ago now. I say we because it is not just Logan it is our family as a whole. I noticed to many army families leaving is always a goal. It is idolized, the fixer in a way. I cannot count how many times I heard "if only we were close to family" while in Georgia. Well not to be a debbie downer but leaving the army is not a "fix all." In fact it is the opposite.

Yes, it is wonderful to be close to family but after the initial hype people go back to their every day business. Leaving you behind with little support in the feelings you are feeling, because honestly they are hard ones to get unless you've traveled that road.

Now I do not want to sound ungrateful for the help from family I simply want to put into words how it is to leave the army, perhaps helping someone else along the way.

I think the biggest difference is the community. In the army you will get drama but people are willing to drop everything to help out. In the civilian world little things sometimes rock peoples worlds and dropping their schedules isn't a thing. You know what though, that's okay. Another thing I learned in the army is not to rely on other people for my happiness. I also have been reading Lysa TerKeurst's new book Uninvited and she makes a very valid point of saying we cannot depend on the unchanging, unpredictable occurrences of the world but look towards God, who is our stability.

Stability was not known in our lives the past few months. Not knowing where we would live was so incredibly terrifying to me. Which made me realize how spoiled I was and am to have the option of buying a house or a place to live. The army does take care of those basic needs which is a relief many do not have. Always knowing you will have a paycheck coming is foreign to some "civilians."

Also, the stay at home mom is more rare outside army life. Finding people to relate too is harder and harder. It is lonely. I know it will take time though and I will find friends. I think it was hard for me because of how little my babies are, this is the time I NEED to talk over coffee or just hang out. The army is good about that. Connecting people. However, the biggest difference is that now once I do connect with people there is a potential for long term friends that live close by. In the army you make those friends but distance often gets in the way of an everyday much needed friend.


I remember a friend saying to me when they left the army her marriage was a little rocky because they needed that time apart that the army so graciously provides for you. Now, I do not know this one as well yet because Logan will leave soon for 15 weeks but I do know it is weird to have him home in the mornings or to know a time he will be home. It kinda rocks my world sometimes but I know thats because I am a planner and I have a routine. So we are relearning ways to deal.

Well my kids are stirring so I am going to wrap this up, it was long, sorry about that. I do feel better writing these things out because it is hard. It is not what I imagined but it is real and I have to find joy in the life we are making. I love that my kids will have their dad home every day (after academy) and that they have the chance to make lifelong friends in the same town. I love that we will have stability once things settle. The army life seems like forever ago but I am grateful for that time we had. I miss it in a way.

A Day at a Time-Twins

Some things I have learned having twins:

It's isolating, especially with a toddler in the mix 

It takes hours to get out of the door

There is almost always one person crying at all times (including myself) 

Guilt is prevalent, theres never enough time 

We are famous 

People know my children as "the twins"

But...

It is so cool to watch their bond

They make me smile oh so much

There is always a baby to hold

I have an excuse (or two) to stay at home 

People are more than willing to help

These are just a few and I try to balance the positive with the negative. It is hard when I want to take ben on a walk or just sit and play with him because I can't. I just can't.  I have to remember to take it a day at a time and choose to hold on to the good.

This Life

Just grabbed my laptop and have exactly 27 minutes to write this (let's be real more like 5 min). That is the exact time I have until supper is ready. Currently blaring Adele, don't judge, and thinking how crazy this life is...

You see I had no idea I would be here, if you had told me 5 years ago I would have the life I do I would laugh in your face and run. Because that's what I did, I ran (not literally) away whether it be travel to a new place or a new relationship, I just couldn't be held down. That sounds SO selfish right about now but that's the reality. I wanted to make something of myself and back then that meant traveling to other countries or being a leader in the education world. It was a plan I made for myself. 

NOPE. that's what God said! I am so glad he did because here I am making dinner and loving it. 

I love this life even though it is drastically different than what I thought. Even though I have goals for myself still (maybe finishing that masters degree?) they have changed for the better. 

Alright, thats all for now sorry for the word vomit but I hear Ben coming up the stairs...he may or may not be woofing like a dog. Oh boy. 

Love Always.

These are the moments

As we are transitioning from the army life to back home, I have a rush of emotions. We are living on base right now in a small house but it's perfect. I love having just what I need. My little family and a roof over our heads. I love having more time to just sit and be us. Last night we watched a movie (by we I mean Logan and I while Ben watched maybe a half hr of it) and for the first time ben got his own bowl of popcorn. Now this may seem little but to me it meant a lot. He's growing up, our family is growing up.

I feel like it is happening before my eyes and some days I just want to hold on to every moment I can.  Life that is, it is happening and I can't do anything to stop it. I cannot believe my first baby is two and a big brother. I cannot believe I will be married four years this December. Or that I just had my last babies.


As I watched Ben read to "the babies" as he calls them...I couldn't help but think "these are the moments" the moments I will look back on when I'm 80 sitting on my front porch remembering life. I love how I have this precious time to spend with my babies. I love that God gave us this tiny on post house and transition period. I so needed it. I needed life to slow down, even for a month, before we move on.

I love since having the girls my anxiety of parenting a toddler has quieted. For example ben spilt apple juice tonight and promptly announced " I clean up!" grabbed my decorative kitchen towel (it's white) and began wiping the dirty floor. This would make me cringe usually but tonight, I encouraged it. I mean seriously how awesome that he knew to do that and that I didn't have to?!

Life is too short and I love this time I have to really enjoy my kids while they are little. Before I know it I will be looking back and smiling at all the memories made.

These are the moments.

Birth story

Soooo who doesn't love a good birth story?
Here it goes.

I woke up with contractions at 5am and headed to labor and delivery to check it out. I had a strange feeling that was it. It was my mother n law's birthday and for some reason I just knew that was the day.

Got to the hospital and was a big whopping 2cm dilated. I was frustrated. I mean this was it right? So the midwife told me I wasn't in active labor and I explained to her I was. They ran fluids and checked me again after an hour..still a 2 ..she gave me the option to stay and walk around to see if I dilated more. I called Logan to come and our amazing friends came over to watch Ben.

So we walked. I was so frustrated...there is nothing more bothering to me than trying to convince someone what I am feeling and that it is real. Especially with labor. We headed back to the room with me in tears. I wanted to go home. They wanted to check me before I went home and as I'm mentally preparing to head for the door the midwife exclaims "oh you are a good 4-5 cm" ...to which I replied "do you believe me now?!" Poor Logan must have been so embarrassed.

So I called my mom to head down from Indiana and my doula to head to the hospital. I went in not wanting an epidural and was talked into one. However, I was able to put it off until a good 7-8cm. I was able to experience a little bit of the labor I wanted. I was told it was an epidural in case of an emergency c-section...if I didn't get one and had to have a c-section I would be put completely under.


Everything was good in labor until I got the epidural. I then had my blood pressure crash several times, got sick, etc...birth is so pretty let me tell you. It was just a waiting game until 10 cm...they then wheeled me to the O.R. to push..."just in case" Baby A was head down but baby B was transverse breech. We were praying B would flip, but oddly I knew she wouldn't...still I held on to hope.

Baby A (Everly) was born after four pushes and then I felt like it was a whirl wind after that. As I had Everly on my chest they were trying to flip baby B. OUCH. Well B or Reagan flipped but went butt down. After trying and trying it was called to do a c-section. I kept telling myself "it will all be okay" and it was...Reagan was born and all the nurses kept telling me how "feisty" she was, which I had a feeling she would be :)

From there we went to the recovery room where I breastfed both babies and was in awe that I now I have three kids. THREE!

So there ya go...I will try to update more about life with twins but right now time is limited. Loving every minute though.

Praying Continually

I feel like my world is crazy at times with all that is going on. It has calmed down since I finished my last class before my year break to have the girls. I cannot tell you how great it is to not dread papers on weekends. Hello friends, I am now free to mingle :)

Prayer has been something on my mind lately and how to pray continually without disappointment or realizing that maybe there is an answer but it won't be right away. Sometimes I tend to ask for things that seem ridiculous. For example, when I found out I may actually be pregnant I prayed over the test that it be a miracle...a miracle because if I was going to be pregnant again I needed the timing to be right before Logan left the army. I laughed pretty hard when I found out it was twins, after I got over the shock of course.


I have had a lot of emotions with prayer and I am trying to remember it is not my plan, it's God's. That's tough for a planner like me. I am getting there though :)


Just to document what's going on with the pregnancy this past week I kept having contractions, as I usually do after work. However, they wouldn't stop this time so we put Ben to bed, called a friend and headed to labor and delivery. They hooked me up which made me feel ridiculous, I thought one heart monitor was uncomfortable, two is just insane. Then they add the one for the contractions. Well I was having contractions every 5-7 minutes for a little bit but they slowed and weren't as painful then stopped. They did a few more things to test if I would actually be giving birth in the next two weeks (crazy they have a test for that?) then gave me a few options. I declined most and at that point I felt comfortable going home and resting for the next few days. I guess that was a long story for a false alarm, but a reminder that my body cannot handle the usual things I do all the time.

That is the hardest part of pregnancy for me, physically and emotionally not being the same as "normal"

I am looking forward to my baby shower coming up and am so blessed to have a friend that offered to throw one for me! I was and am way too excited. It just feels good to feel appreciated and loved.

Other than pregnancy my beautifully spirited/stubborn two year old son has decided eating is for the birds...mainly living on fruits and hotdogs...just reminding me the things they don't tell you as a sweet pregnant lady for the first time. I somehow knew to sit down for meals for family time but had no idea how much of a battle it would be with a screaming toddler. I did learn this week that Dicks sporting goods store has an awesome Ben-sized track that will wear him out (because he automatically knew to run it!) and result in a great nights sleep. Keeping that one in my back pocket. Well I think that is all for now, hope you all have a blessed week!

My Girls

So I thought I was really clever making a hashtag #mygirls on instagram for all things twins. Logan then informed me after clicking on it the pictures were mostly college sorority girls. We will just over look that little flaw in the 'tag'

I did want to update since finding out it's two GIRLS! How things are going...

This pregnancy has been so different than the first for more reasons than one. Not just the fact that I have a toddler to chase and a husband home/not deployed. I also mentally am in a different state. I am much more "into" the whole process of the birth. With twins some automatically think c-section (which I may have to have) but there are options. It is a scary thing to fall into but I am thankful for the "least risk" as far as twins go.

I start interviewing doulas this week and oh my, where do I even start? I feel like last time I just thought whatever happens happens and that is that. Although I had a great experience (I mean as great as pushing a baby out can be) Looking back there are things I should've known or said.

My attitude is a lot better as far as pain goes this time around. I did have a rough first trimester losing around 20lbs so at this point anything is better than going through that. I just feel like once you become a mom the little things are just...little. For example, sitting in a prenatal yoga class listening to first time pregnant moms about their worries and fears I just thought to myself "oh honey, you have no idea" I do miss that stage of innocence, I guess you could call it. Don't get me wrong being a mom is amazing but its also exhausting and if I could go back to my first pregnant self I would say "You enjoy the endless netflix and sleeping in. Bored, great...it may be the last time you say that for awhile."

Other things that will be different...we are keeping the names a secret. That's right mom no hints no nothing! I love names and this will more than likely be my last pregnancy so we are having fun with it.

All good things come in pairs...

So the news it out, ITS TWINS! That's right, I'm pregnant again and it is twins, not one baby but two. At first I about passed out, that is no exaggeration the ultrasound tech was fanning me. Now I am extremely excited but nervous, so I wanted to document these early feelings to look back on, and of course you are along for the crazy ride too.

Things I am nervous about:
Double strollers
Feeding two infants
How will I have enough love for three kids?
Loosing me hair (jk, but not really its already gray)
Having no friends

Things I am excited about:
I always wanted three kids
One might be a girl!
I get to be a stay at home mom
The potential BFF's
Not being pregnant again after this...


So I think the biggest challenge is being as excited and paying as much attention as I did to Ben when I was pregnant. I love Pinteresting cute pictures and I have already booked maternity pictures which I thought I'd never do. I am disappointed in some peoples reaction to doing a baby shower, I feel like no matter the number the baby is they should be celebrated! Maybe we will throw ourselves a bbq or something just to celebrate. I try not to get caught up in what other people think but it is hard sometimes.
The second pregnancy is so different, especially with my first being able to stay home and not work. The best way I can sum up the difference is first pregnancy=sleep second pregnancy=no sleep. I woke up this morning to my son jamming his car into my head, thats when you know reality hits you. Also taking care of a toddler while pregnant is not for the faint. I think moms have a permanent target for puke on them, I mean really Logan has never gotten the full force puke fest on him before.

Other random thoughts:
They predicted one boy and one girl which is my absolute dream. I already have a feeling that the boy will be the most chill out of the three and the little girl will be wrapped around daddy's finger. I am beyond excited that they are di/di twins meaning they have their own sacs and placentas (if you don't know much about twins look up mono/di, di/di and mo/mo twins, its interesting). Meaning I will also get to keep my midwife and hopefully have a more natural approach to birth. Oh birth...that's another blog entirely.

Through this whole experience I think my  biggest comfort as it usually is, is humor. You have to laugh and marvel at the fact that I never saw twins coming!