Losing the Weight-the mental challenge

Since my eight pound bundle of joy left my womb I feel like my body was not my own. I constantly catch myself looking at my mid section and thinking "just go away." I know I know the stretch marks were worth having my son but to me that doesn't make me want to jump in a bikini again. I have tried bootcamps, diets, Jillian Michaels, Stroller Strong Moms (GREAT WORKOUT) but it all comes down to motivation to change my eating.

You see, I am an emotional eater. My logic being totally irrational if I were to speak it out loud for eating or buying snacks. For example...driving down the road I see the glorious Chic-fil-a sign and think "I deserve a small fry" or "Lemonade is better than pop right?" Sometimes I cannot stop myself from being seduced by the Starbucks sign, those baristas know my weakness.

All that said, I have got to STOP. I have to find joy in what I eat but also know that I need to treat my body not as my own but to glorify God. So many illness and disease come from poor nutrition and its a cycle, it happens over time.  One small fry at a time.

Working out has been a great stress relief since Logan has been "away" and side note... I do have the best helpers. I mean who wouldn't want to have a dog's breath in their face while doing crunches?

Anyways I guess the point of sharing this is to remind myself that it is a mental challenge, the eating, and the working out. My plan of attack is to start discovering more what food provides for your body.  What will help give me energy or help me burn fat. I don't want to go paleo or try crazy diets but I do want to eat healthier and enjoy it. Also, reminding myself that although it is HOT out it is worth the walk or run outside. 

I am excited to see the change although you will most likely not see any before and after pictures. I will keep those to myself :) If you read this and have any healthy food recipes or sites feel free to send them my way. 

Don't buy it

This morning I went to a "market" which was more like a big yard sale but heck, I love yard sales so it was perfect. I found the book Tuesdays with Morrie by: Mitch Albom and even though I just started it (this is where people these days would say "literally," why is that a trend now?) I found a gem on page 35-36 "'Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own. Most people can't do it..." This was most certainly needed today or just lately I suppose.

I browsed through my Facebook newsfeed this morning to find pictures of drunken Friday nights and beach vacations a long with the random status about working out, eating or just general happenings. I began to wonder, why was my Friday so lame? Why couldn't I be invited to ladies night? Why couldn't I afford a beach vacation? What was wrong with me? Why wasn't I worthy? ....see how that escalated so quickly? Yes, this happens often and I hate it. I know it is happening but still. Hate it.

So where do I go from here? Well first stop asking questions because I know the purpose of my life, I know what I live for and whom I live for. I need to take more action. I need to start living a life that shows Christ-like love. Not buy a culture I know doesn't work. I want to make a few changes, nothing drastic, but just little things that will bring more joy out of life.

I need to also open myself up more, I have a hard time with that here. A few of my first "friends" here treated me in a way that was not nice. I never felt the need to get on a soapbox and shout it to the world, all the reasons why, so I internalized it and closed myself off to a lot of people. I need to stop and just let myself be vulnerable again, in a friendship setting that is. I need to laugh again. Like those deep belly laughs you know are only shared with the ones you truly love.

So anyways, those are my thoughts and if you are reading this thank you for getting all the way through it and "listening" in one way or another.

Much Love,
Laura
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