a rose and a thorn

Friends,

You know those silly ice breaker games that you play to get to know each other ... I thought I'd use one to give a little update on my life. I feel like it has EXPLODED. However, here is a
rose:
I got a job! Part-time that is which is a lovely thing. I love having a four day weekend every weekend.  Also, love having something of my own to do.

thorn:
Logan's transmission went out of course the week I started work. So I became a taxi driver that got up at 5a.m. to take him to work. That was not so fun. Did I mention he worked until midnight that first week too?

rose:
I have lost about 26lbs. WOW that seems like a lot. But I started when Logan left for Australia (if you refer back to my previous blog) and no tricks just simply motivating myself. Also, I DID NOT BUY 21 DAY FIX. Or shake something rather....Which I am sure it is lovely but I am really tired of people trying to sell it to me.
I did however start eating smaller portions, running more often, and doing ab work outs. Sorry this is so long but I just wanted to share it really comes down to you and if you really want to loose the weight. I started the exercise because I wanted to loose the baby weight (and so the nail lady would stop asking "when you due?") but what I realized is it feels GOOD to take care of myself.
 P.S. Earplugs in, pushing a stroller is a great stress reliever and it still counts as "outside time" for the babe doesn't it?

Moving on....
thorn:
We have to get the house ready to sell which makes me incredibly sad. We love our home but we are getting ready to move on and it's time to sell. Prayers needed! I feel so adult but that is frightening in the selling process.

rose:
I had a week off of school (the master's kind)! Which I spent free time doing my favorite things such as watching movies with Logan, reading, crafting and etc.

So that's about all I have here. Lots happening but at the same time it's the same 'ol story. Mom life, wife life and just gettin' by life.

Here is a picture just for fun, Ben mowing the lawn...

Take Care,

Laura 

Curls

Since I was pregnant I heard all about Logan's curls when he was little. I have to admit it sort of scared me the thought. It's funny how we picture our unborn children and then they come out completely different but completely perfect.

Well recently I have been fighting with these curls, they are a mess! Then I have moments like tonight where I think "One day I will miss these." I will miss seeing them and knowing that is my Ben, my baby. They make him who he is and I look forward to telling his future wife all about them :) So much of him I want to hold onto just a little while longer. He is growing before my eyes.

Just some thoughts I wanted to write down and one day look back on. Probably when he is a teenager and driving me crazy! I will always love you Benny no matter how "messy" your hair is, you will always be beautiful to me.

To my toddler

To my toddler,

Mommy loves you a lot, but I am not a punching bag, chew toy or trampoline.

This is my hot coffee, not yours.

I love this rock, it looks just like the last one.

Naps are fun. Let's nap more.

I spent a lot of time making dinner, not for the dog, but for you!

Sometimes when you cry, I cry too.

But also,

Your kisses are the sweetest.

That laugh, the belly laugh one,  thats the best.

Your dance moves are better than mine.

You express your feelings openly to everyone (I wish I could)

At the end of the day, looking at your sweet face, so peaceful, I wish I could capture that moment forever. How much do I love you? To the Moon and BACK! Then more :)

Your  (Tired) Mommy

Losing the Weight-the mental challenge

Since my eight pound bundle of joy left my womb I feel like my body was not my own. I constantly catch myself looking at my mid section and thinking "just go away." I know I know the stretch marks were worth having my son but to me that doesn't make me want to jump in a bikini again. I have tried bootcamps, diets, Jillian Michaels, Stroller Strong Moms (GREAT WORKOUT) but it all comes down to motivation to change my eating.

You see, I am an emotional eater. My logic being totally irrational if I were to speak it out loud for eating or buying snacks. For example...driving down the road I see the glorious Chic-fil-a sign and think "I deserve a small fry" or "Lemonade is better than pop right?" Sometimes I cannot stop myself from being seduced by the Starbucks sign, those baristas know my weakness.

All that said, I have got to STOP. I have to find joy in what I eat but also know that I need to treat my body not as my own but to glorify God. So many illness and disease come from poor nutrition and its a cycle, it happens over time.  One small fry at a time.

Working out has been a great stress relief since Logan has been "away" and side note... I do have the best helpers. I mean who wouldn't want to have a dog's breath in their face while doing crunches?

Anyways I guess the point of sharing this is to remind myself that it is a mental challenge, the eating, and the working out. My plan of attack is to start discovering more what food provides for your body.  What will help give me energy or help me burn fat. I don't want to go paleo or try crazy diets but I do want to eat healthier and enjoy it. Also, reminding myself that although it is HOT out it is worth the walk or run outside. 

I am excited to see the change although you will most likely not see any before and after pictures. I will keep those to myself :) If you read this and have any healthy food recipes or sites feel free to send them my way. 

Don't buy it

This morning I went to a "market" which was more like a big yard sale but heck, I love yard sales so it was perfect. I found the book Tuesdays with Morrie by: Mitch Albom and even though I just started it (this is where people these days would say "literally," why is that a trend now?) I found a gem on page 35-36 "'Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own. Most people can't do it..." This was most certainly needed today or just lately I suppose.

I browsed through my Facebook newsfeed this morning to find pictures of drunken Friday nights and beach vacations a long with the random status about working out, eating or just general happenings. I began to wonder, why was my Friday so lame? Why couldn't I be invited to ladies night? Why couldn't I afford a beach vacation? What was wrong with me? Why wasn't I worthy? ....see how that escalated so quickly? Yes, this happens often and I hate it. I know it is happening but still. Hate it.

So where do I go from here? Well first stop asking questions because I know the purpose of my life, I know what I live for and whom I live for. I need to take more action. I need to start living a life that shows Christ-like love. Not buy a culture I know doesn't work. I want to make a few changes, nothing drastic, but just little things that will bring more joy out of life.

I need to also open myself up more, I have a hard time with that here. A few of my first "friends" here treated me in a way that was not nice. I never felt the need to get on a soapbox and shout it to the world, all the reasons why, so I internalized it and closed myself off to a lot of people. I need to stop and just let myself be vulnerable again, in a friendship setting that is. I need to laugh again. Like those deep belly laughs you know are only shared with the ones you truly love.

So anyways, those are my thoughts and if you are reading this thank you for getting all the way through it and "listening" in one way or another.

Much Love,
Laura
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Just Stuck

These days I find myself stuck. Stuck in life.

I feel like I am limbo of a a young 20's let's adventure and travel the world and I'm a mom whose Friday nights consist of drinking wine and pinteresting.

 SO after a recent trip to California and just getting away- I made a list, of goals for myself.

1. Never stop adventuring
2. Build a home, where your children feel welcome and friends are family
3. Be yourself-no matter how much you would love to "fit in"
4. Read often
5. Take the time to LISTEN- its not all about you
6. Challenge yourself, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually


Short and sweet tonight :) Just had to get those thoughts out there!

Time goes by so fast...

 It's been over a year since I was gifted a scrapbook kit for Ben's baby album (great gift by the way, thanks Aunt Pam!). So I decided try it out, since my now one year old can semi-entertain himself. I started with a page for my pregnancy. I think it's great to look back and see life as it used to be then and I hope Ben will too someday. Here's a pic (ignore the mess and my awkward leg)...

So I don't know if you know this about me but I am a hoarder, well not TLC worthy but I hoard anything that could possibly have meaning. The card is one I sent Logan while he was deployed as are the pictures. I love that everyone has a story, and I love hearing those stories. I realized as I am scrapbooking that I have a large part in making Ben's story, I have the responsibility of raising him. Maybe one day I will be the reason he loves chocolate chip pancakes or watching a thunderstorm come in...how crazy is that?! 

Something I heard over and over again when I first had Ben was "Time goes by so fast, enjoy it!" I used to think, "How do I enjoy no sleep and spit up in my hair?" But now I see what they mean. As I watch Ben daily and am reminded what a little person he is becoming I want time to slow down, I want to enjoy every bit of it I have left while he's little. It is SO so easy to get caught up in the sleep deprivation or the temper tantrums but I too have become that person who says "Time goes by so fast.."