That moment when you become a mother, its beautiful and indescribable. The whole world looks new and bright and just plain wonderful (Even that taco I had after birth seemed like the best taco ever created). Then the exhaustion sets in and you wonder "Can I do this? Can I survive another night with virtually no sleep?"
I am more blessed than most, in that I am fortunate to stay home. Sometimes I feel like I need to post this on every mirror in our house, because I feel like I fail all...the ...time.
YOU ARE BLESSED
YOU CAN DO IT
Believing it is a whole other battle. Until I became a wife and mother I was told to go for my dreams professionally. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom and have always wanted to be one, but for most my life all I have known is my dreams. Some days when I am in the middle of Target trying to calm my screaming baby I want to scream "I HAVE A COLLEGE DEGREE, I HAVE LIVED IN AFRICA, IM NOT JUST A MOM!" But then I realize, being a mom is pretty darn awesome, it is a lot of work and takes more skills than most careers will ever require. My dreams have changed.
Now I think of Ben's dreams, how can I make them come true? How can I be the best mom and wife possible? How can I balance everything?
My answer:
Not losing myself, not losing the person my husband married, not forgetting I too am a child of God. Now this is not saying I am going to be selfish, but rather know how much to give of myself to others. Striving to be the person God called me to be, not the person the world calls me to be.
One of my biggest enemies right now is Facebook. I struggle with seeing my friends from college post their adventures and their dreams coming to life. Then I think, they don't get the moments I do, the moments I share with Ben and Logan. Sometimes I feel like they are sharing those pictures, statuses, whatever, because they do not have an AMAZING husband to confide in or a baby to watch. You think you can know someone through Facebook but when was the last time you sat down and had a conversation? I need to be content with my life, not having to share it for the world to see...not that I don't love a cute baby picture or pictures of you standing by an ocean, it is just easy to get sucked into.
Maybe I will never be that crazy, outgoing, adventurous person I was in college again...but that's okay. I have gained more skills being a mother than I would have ever gained through traveling the world. God has a plan for me and I am going to try to rock that plan out as best I can. It's far better than any dreams I have.
P.S. I still want to travel the world, just not with 9 month old :)
1. I CAN SO RELATE! Especially about wanting to yell, "I have a college degree and I have lived in other countries! I am a person too!" 2. P-r-e-a-c-h about FB. It gets me down without me even realizing that's what did it. Yikes. But so very true that it's real life conversations that matter and bring it all out ... usually differently than the glimpses we get on FB. Blech.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE YOUR BLOG ... and the background is so cute. So you. :)