Teacher things

So as many of my friends and fam know I am teaching preschool at the moment. Which if you had asked me about four years ago I would've laughed at the thought. It wasn't until after I had my son that I had the passion for those younger than kindergarten. The more I read about early childhood education the more I am beyond passionate about teaching.
Here's the thing, when you are in preschool it's not just about the colors, letters, shapes. It's about the people too. It's about manners, and sharing and singing and learning to love learning. These are fundamentals I believe are becoming lost in our schools replaced by standards and "academic readiness."

We are loosing our kids to test scores...

It is my dream to open a daycare/preschool. In that dream I see a house, one with character, where when you walk inside you feel at home. Pictures of the children's families hang on the wall and you are greeted with a hug (my first week teaching kindergarten I was told to be careful hugging kids, erg). I want you to feel as if you have just left your child with an extended family member. Someone who is going to love them for who they are and foster who they are becoming. I want a place where I would send my son. No worksheets, just learning through play. We have forgotten how to play and explore in school. I want to bring that back and it starts with the young ones!

Alright, those are my thoughts for now :)

xoxo Laura

Thoughts and more thoughts

Do you ever have those moments when you have a million thoughts and you feel as if you don't organize them in some fashion you will explode...okay maybe it's just me but that's how i feel tonight.

I've been so "busy" lately with work, school, mom/wife life that I have given up on some things that I so treasured and that has been hard for me. Is this why so many people are grumpy these days? (don't worry I didn't give up my coffee).

Tonight I said goodnight to logan and took time to read my devotional and Bible which I have to confess I have been slacking. Which got me thinking I have so many distractions that I have let get in the way. I really do need to make time and cut out the excuses.

I miss having my weekly bible study and now I truly understand the mom at church complaining about the 10 a.m. women's group. I feel as though I'm slowly beginning to see that divide of working moms vs. stay-at-home moms [It's totally cool you obsess over what kind of food you feed your kid while I'm over here just hoping to get a home cooked meal on the table] Kudos to you mom (denise) I get it now. Don't get me wrong I think it is awesome that mom's can stay-at-home and I wish I was one of them, but I know if I want my kids to go to college (or put a decent roof over our heads) I'm going to have to put my college degree to good use.

So onto the next random thought...the house went on the market last week well (5) days ago. WHAT?! okay I just got over the fact that we were home owners and now we are selling our first home. I have had a total failure in letting go of control with this, and tonight I was reminded of this in my devotional. It was talking about faith and what that word means. I have to let go and that is easier said than done. But when I prayed tonight it was one of those prayers where I just sighed afterwards. A weight has lifted off and one that I need to remember I don't have to carry. I don't have to carry the worry, the fear, or the anxiety. I need to give it up.

Finally, looking toward the future I have hope that we will be in a place that is good for us. A place that will bring us together. We have spent so much time apart since being married and I am ready to have my family together again.

P.S. finally finally, being a mom of a toddler is beyond hard. It doesn't so much make me cry (i have a hard time crying over big stuff, I cry over little stuff like romantic movies or those puppy adoption commercials) but it makes me question myself as a mother, am I really cut out for this? It's hard. Any words of encouragement or scripture is welcome at this moment, because I am not alone and I need to reach out more!

Alright, that is all :)

Home

Have you ever seen the cute video of the daughter father duo singing "Home"? well here it is if you haven't...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L64c5vT3NBw

Anywho, this past week we travelled to our "home" in Indiana and on the way I was reminded of this song and all of it's cuteness. All of the meaning behind the question of "where is home?" as well...

So here is my answer, I think home is:

Those you love

Playing cranium and laughing 'till you cry

Talking until the wee hours of the morning

A glass of wine

Home cookin'

Jokes, some bad and some really really bad

The smell of pine needles

A warm embrace

Embarrassing baby pictures (or in this last visits case, high school pictures)

Long walks

All of these things and more is home to me. I love our time we spend in Indiana and even though there was a time I couldn't wait to leave, now I cannot wait to go back.

Here a few pictures that still make me smile, the first is a picture from a scrapbook I made my best friend in high school. She pulled it out since we had some time to visit baby-free this past week. Also I have to mention how amazing her mom is, who still to this day makes me no bake cookies when she sees me (she used to make them and place them in Miranda's lunch box with my name on them ha!). So wonderful. Life was so simple then....

This second picture is a little more sentimental, my mom's new house has a shed similar to the one our dad build at our old house. The one at the old house had the same star. So ben was playing this last visit and the light hit just right I had to snap the picture because I got the overwhelming feeling that my dad was smiling down on us. It's hard to explain and I get these feelings of remembering him and I cannot wait to share all the great memories with Ben. 

a rose and a thorn

Friends,

You know those silly ice breaker games that you play to get to know each other ... I thought I'd use one to give a little update on my life. I feel like it has EXPLODED. However, here is a
rose:
I got a job! Part-time that is which is a lovely thing. I love having a four day weekend every weekend.  Also, love having something of my own to do.

thorn:
Logan's transmission went out of course the week I started work. So I became a taxi driver that got up at 5a.m. to take him to work. That was not so fun. Did I mention he worked until midnight that first week too?

rose:
I have lost about 26lbs. WOW that seems like a lot. But I started when Logan left for Australia (if you refer back to my previous blog) and no tricks just simply motivating myself. Also, I DID NOT BUY 21 DAY FIX. Or shake something rather....Which I am sure it is lovely but I am really tired of people trying to sell it to me.
I did however start eating smaller portions, running more often, and doing ab work outs. Sorry this is so long but I just wanted to share it really comes down to you and if you really want to loose the weight. I started the exercise because I wanted to loose the baby weight (and so the nail lady would stop asking "when you due?") but what I realized is it feels GOOD to take care of myself.
 P.S. Earplugs in, pushing a stroller is a great stress reliever and it still counts as "outside time" for the babe doesn't it?

Moving on....
thorn:
We have to get the house ready to sell which makes me incredibly sad. We love our home but we are getting ready to move on and it's time to sell. Prayers needed! I feel so adult but that is frightening in the selling process.

rose:
I had a week off of school (the master's kind)! Which I spent free time doing my favorite things such as watching movies with Logan, reading, crafting and etc.

So that's about all I have here. Lots happening but at the same time it's the same 'ol story. Mom life, wife life and just gettin' by life.

Here is a picture just for fun, Ben mowing the lawn...

Take Care,

Laura 

Curls

Since I was pregnant I heard all about Logan's curls when he was little. I have to admit it sort of scared me the thought. It's funny how we picture our unborn children and then they come out completely different but completely perfect.

Well recently I have been fighting with these curls, they are a mess! Then I have moments like tonight where I think "One day I will miss these." I will miss seeing them and knowing that is my Ben, my baby. They make him who he is and I look forward to telling his future wife all about them :) So much of him I want to hold onto just a little while longer. He is growing before my eyes.

Just some thoughts I wanted to write down and one day look back on. Probably when he is a teenager and driving me crazy! I will always love you Benny no matter how "messy" your hair is, you will always be beautiful to me.

To my toddler

To my toddler,

Mommy loves you a lot, but I am not a punching bag, chew toy or trampoline.

This is my hot coffee, not yours.

I love this rock, it looks just like the last one.

Naps are fun. Let's nap more.

I spent a lot of time making dinner, not for the dog, but for you!

Sometimes when you cry, I cry too.

But also,

Your kisses are the sweetest.

That laugh, the belly laugh one,  thats the best.

Your dance moves are better than mine.

You express your feelings openly to everyone (I wish I could)

At the end of the day, looking at your sweet face, so peaceful, I wish I could capture that moment forever. How much do I love you? To the Moon and BACK! Then more :)

Your  (Tired) Mommy

Losing the Weight-the mental challenge

Since my eight pound bundle of joy left my womb I feel like my body was not my own. I constantly catch myself looking at my mid section and thinking "just go away." I know I know the stretch marks were worth having my son but to me that doesn't make me want to jump in a bikini again. I have tried bootcamps, diets, Jillian Michaels, Stroller Strong Moms (GREAT WORKOUT) but it all comes down to motivation to change my eating.

You see, I am an emotional eater. My logic being totally irrational if I were to speak it out loud for eating or buying snacks. For example...driving down the road I see the glorious Chic-fil-a sign and think "I deserve a small fry" or "Lemonade is better than pop right?" Sometimes I cannot stop myself from being seduced by the Starbucks sign, those baristas know my weakness.

All that said, I have got to STOP. I have to find joy in what I eat but also know that I need to treat my body not as my own but to glorify God. So many illness and disease come from poor nutrition and its a cycle, it happens over time.  One small fry at a time.

Working out has been a great stress relief since Logan has been "away" and side note... I do have the best helpers. I mean who wouldn't want to have a dog's breath in their face while doing crunches?

Anyways I guess the point of sharing this is to remind myself that it is a mental challenge, the eating, and the working out. My plan of attack is to start discovering more what food provides for your body.  What will help give me energy or help me burn fat. I don't want to go paleo or try crazy diets but I do want to eat healthier and enjoy it. Also, reminding myself that although it is HOT out it is worth the walk or run outside. 

I am excited to see the change although you will most likely not see any before and after pictures. I will keep those to myself :) If you read this and have any healthy food recipes or sites feel free to send them my way.